Set backs and New Beginnings

What can I say? I’ve fallen off the walk yet again. This time in a big bad way. Previously I was able to limit my slip ups to the weekend, but for the last 3 weeks I’ve had a horrible time maintaining my healthy lifestyle.

As I may have mentioned previously I have been sick since about December. I’ve had a bad cough, runny nose, felt congested. About a month ago I coughed up blood. Not a huge amount, but when your coughing up blood it’s a terrible feeling. And as someone who is a bit of a hypochondriac I naturally went into panic mode. I made an appointment with my GP.

He listened to my chest and said he heard a crackle in my left lung. He prescribed me antibiotics for a chest infection and ordered a chest x-ray and blood work. I finished my antibiotics but still felt congested and was still coughing. I had to return to my GP for my xray results so I brought up my illness again. My chest x-rays and blood work came back clear, chest sounded fine. GP checked my ears and diagnosed me with sinus blockage and prescribed me a nasal spray which he said would alleviate my cough. You can imagine how my willpower was lacking. Not only did I consume animal products, I ate every processed, terrible thing you could have imagined. Cheese, cookies, chocolates, onion rings, chips. Basically, any non nutritional food you can name went into my face. And the thing that makes it worse? I felt like shit afterwards. Like literal fecal matter. Which, coincidentally, became much harder for my body to produce.

That was about 4 days before the SO and I were leaving for Paris. The night before or flight we spent the evening in the ER. Why? I was having significant chest pains. And my anxiety and with did nothing to help decrease it. I was hooked up to an ECG, urine was given, chest listened to, all that fun stuff they do to rule out a heart attack. Now, just so everyone is aware, many times when people think they’re having a heart attack, it’s really a panic attack, as your brain and body mimic the symptoms. Most people don’t think that they’re having a heart attack when they actually are. However, even knowing this information and attempting some calming self-talk did nothing to ease my anxiety. Thankfully, the tests came up clear. The doctor told me it could be one of two things: epigastric (aka food consumption/digestion related) or muscular and stress (from having been sick for so long). This night hit both me and my partner really hard. It was a terrifying experience and we both agreed that we needed to be healthier.

We flew off to Paris, which ended up being as expected…lots of cheese, and animal products. And the results were also as expected: fatigue, joint pain, constipation. Upon our return this past weekend we went to the gym. The result of that was scary and defeating: 167lbs. Where did I go wrong? Oh wait, I remember… The cookies, chips, chocolates, and every other terrible thing. And so, I am now starting yet again. Plant based diet and exercise! I am setting realistic goals. I know I will have cravings and give in to some. I’ve cut back on meat, but still have a tiny amount with dinner (about an inch cube). I know I’ll probably have some cookies or some snack, but I will try my best to replace it with fruits.

My gym goals have started off well. I’ve gone two days in a row now, yesterday for an hour and a half. Even though I kept my exercises light (walking and the bike), I burned a good amount of calories and felt pretty good about myself.

So if you’re having set backs, do not panic! I have had more than I could count…and yet I am trying again!

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