The Naked Poop

Not actually pooping while you’re naked. Who would do such a thing? If I’m taking a shower and I need to pee I get out, put on underwear, remove it to my feet, pee, wipe, pull up, flush, take off underwear, and continue showering….. Too much information? Sorry. I just had to make my point.

No, no, the title was supposed to be a cleaver play on words of the “Naked Truth”. And since the topic is poop, I thought it was rather clever. Although me explaining the title now nullifies any cleverness that may have remained in the title. Let’s forget this whole ugly ordeal never happened…

If any of you have read my previous posts, my bowel movements have been…unpleasant. I was gassy, bloated, and full of cramps. The stool itself was much too loose, smelly (you know, compared the the regular, unscented poop) and there was a lot of undigested food. There were also many, many white particles in my stool. Those that looked like a mashed chickpea.

So what happened you may ask? Well after a panic attack and mental breakdown thinking I had tapeworm, I made a doctor’s appointment. While waiting over the weekend, I did much research online (so naturally induced more panic after the many cancer posts). I came across lactose intolerance. Now I know I don’t have THAT. But I realized that my intake of SOY had dramatically increased. I went to the doctor Monday and submitted a stool sample yesterday. Over the past few days I’ve reduced my soy intake, limiting it only to the milk in my coffee. The result? A decent poop. For 3 days now.

So, in my attempts to live a healthier life, my body has rejected the healthy alternatives that I’ve put into it. It’s alright though. Tofu is highly processed anyway. I can live without it. Or with small amounts of it.

I am now on the search for Almond milk, Coconut yogurt, and other soy free alternatives. Oh the joys.

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